Full Disclosure

We all keep secrets. Growing up we determined who our best friends were, they were the ones we could entrust with our most private details. The friends we keep are the ones who know the worst about us and yet can still bear to be around us. They know our most embarrassing moments, the times when we made fools of ourselves.

Why do we keep secrets? There are many reasons. Sometimes there is a little pleasure derived in knowing something that others do not. There is intimacy in sharing it with friends and family, making them feel privileged that we trust them with something we know and vice-versa. In other words we possess special information, we are "in the know".

As we grow older, we sometimes keep secrets because we are ashamed of certain actions. We know that they are wrong and yet we hate to be chastised. It is a matter of self preservation, if it is not spoken of, then perhaps it is alright. However, the truth will always come out and the perception is that of dishonesty even when that was not the intent. As children we learned that it was always better to "fess up" and take the punishment. We were always forgiven, we learned from the mistake and moved on. As grown ups it is harder to do the same.

Sometimes we keep things to ourselves to protect other people, and spare them the pain that full disclosure brings. After all, what they do not know will not harm them. While the intention is good, I am not sure I agree with this. Even if I am the person being shown this consideration, it makes me feel that I cannot be relied upon to make a decision about how I choose to react. The foundation for any relationship should always be trust, mixed with a healthy dose of honesty.