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The invitation said to RSVP by June 6th and it gave an email address and a telephone number. How many people actually confirm or decline attendance to someone's special event? I just came from a function where every head was counted, name cards were in place and yet there were some no shows. I wondered, did the person supposed to be seated next to me say they would come and something important prevented them from making it, or did the person just say yes without any intention of showing up?

Etiquette rules require that if you receive a formal, written invitation, you should reply promptly. For the host, it is important from a practical point of view. They need to know how many people to count on and how much food and drink to buy. More important, though, is the simple courtesy of responding to someone who was nice enough to invite you, even if it is to say that you regret that you will not be able to attend.

I have noticed that even though the word RSVP is French in origin, the Westerners take this rule to heart. Growing up in the Philippines, it was a given that if you invited someone, you should be prepared for their presence even if they do not show up. That is why Filipino parties are always overflowing with food. You can feed the whole community and have some leftovers the next day.

Im my youth, I actually knew of some people who had a fear of commitment. The thought process was "what if they confirm and then something else better comes along?" They would then have to make a second call to cancel. Those party days were a long time ago though. Nowadays, I only hang out with people who are in bed by 10:00 p.m.

There are a few variations of the RSVP. Some party invitations carry a "regrets only" notation at the end. That means that the host will count on your being there unless you tell him or her otherwise. They now also have "save the date" cards. This one is a little impractical I think. How do I know what I am doing 6 months from now? Whenever I make my dental appointments that far in advance, I always end up rescheduling.

There are some parties you do not even have to respond to. These are the ones you cannot get out of. You are summoned to come and you must show your face even if only for a few minutes. Everyone is familiar with these, they are called family reunions or "my boss is hosting the party" :-) I have not responded to the invitation mentioned above, I feel I still have a lot of time. I do intend to go, I promise to get around to it eventually.