Rules for Visiting

As I am writing this, my sister is hopefully getting some rest on a Cathay Pacific flight, winging her way from New Jersey to the Philippines, to visit for about 3 weeks. I am so envious, I can spit!

I left home when I was 19 years old and in the next 7 years, I flew from Hongkong, where I was based, to Cebu at a minimum of twice a month. Since I spent more time at home than in my flat, I never thought of myself as a visitor. It was when I got married and moved to Guam that I had to adjust to seeing my parents and sisters, to every other year. More years passed in Hawaii, then finally San Diego which has technically been home to me for the past 10 years.

Whenever we plan a visit, I have found that following rules help make the visit a stress-free one.
1. Go bearing gifts - While this is not a must for my family since they are just glad to see me, it shows thoughtfulness. Besides what would the airline industry do without all the excess baggage or balikbayan boxes that most Filipinos check in?
2. Respect boundaries and schedules - not everyone can drop what they are doing to act as your personal tour guide. People still have jobs and lives.
3. Divide your time fairly - yes, you still have to spend one week with the in-laws and attend family gatherings dutifully.
4. Do not leave a mess for others to clean up. This also pertains to emotional upheavals you leave behind.

I am not saying I have followed any or all of these, just that they help :-)
Here is the most important one, do not overstay your welcome!