Children Are Watching

I recently had lunch with a former colleague and her family. While catching up with each other's lives, the talk turned to politics. I almost fell out of my chair when her seven-year old son suddenly quipped "I hate Obama". Obviously, he was repeating something that was being said at home and was expressing a sentiment that was not his in the first place. Why in the world would a child so young learn hate unless it was taught to him in the first place, wittingly or unwittingly?

I think sometimes we forget that we are the primary teachers of our children. We forget that our actions impact their lives, and what we say, take on a huge importance just because they want to emulate us. What son does not want his parents to be proud of him? There is a reason why a lot of children go into the same profession their parents had. Aside from the fact that it is familiar, they want to please, and imitation is often the best form of flattery.

So be careful. We often say things we may not mean just because we are in the privacy of our own homes. They take their cues not only from our words but also from our actions. If we do not go regularly to religious services, they learn that perhaps faith is not so important. If we never give to charity, they learn that self preservation is more important than someone less fortunate. If we are not faithful to our vows, they learn to treat the institution of marriage with less respect.

While outside factors play a huge role in a child's development, we cannot blame it all on the environment and on media. Talking about media, there is a reason why movies have classifications. It is to protect children from exposure to things that they are not ready for. It is so that an accompanying adult (if you have to watch that popular movie) can guide them and tell them the difference between right and wrong.

We cannot all be saints and our children will see us make mistakes. They will see us do stupid things. What is important is that we acknowledge our shortcomings and that they see us try to rise above our own failings. We should also give them space to form their own opinions and not limit them to ours.