Marriage and 401Ks

Our first date was at this exact same spot. That was a very long time ago. This was taken a few days ago in a bookstore/coffee shop called Upstart Crow in Seaport Village. It has remained exactly the same, offering coffee, very very good chocolate cake, and a great selection of unique books and postcards.

What was not the same was that we had our 14-year old son with us taking this picture. Jimboy also has his fair share of gray hair which he attributes to being married to me :-) I have also put on a few pounds since then, how many, I am not disclosing. We went on to watch a movie called "Dying Young" at Horton Plaza before he drove me back to Los Angeles since I was due to leave for Hongkong the next day.

While I do say that it was a very long time ago, it does not feel that way. Like any other young man and woman, we have had our share of failed romances and stupid behavior. Like any other married couple, we have had our share of ups and downs but I am happy to say that it has been more of the former. With God's help, we hope it stays that way for "as long as we both shall live." Not everyone is so lucky. Marriage is a great big leap of faith, and I think it is a matter of luck in terms of who we meet, and if we are ready when we meet a person. I do not believe in love at first sight, attraction perhaps, which is as good an excuse as any for some of the things we do in its name.

I think of my marriage as a 401K. It is an investment plan wherein I input the fruits of my labor, which in turn, is matched by my husband. Anyone who has money in stocks or mutual funds will tell you that your returns depend on where you put your money. Also, like the stock market there will be fluctuations, we cannot foresee the future. There is a disclaimer that past performance does not guarantee future rewards. I have recently lost a considerable sum of money (to me) in my 401K due to the economy but I have never considered taking it out. That would mean locking in my losses. Marriage, like individual retirement plans, are designed to be long-term and you get penalized when you cash out.

One of the best pieces of advice can be found from financial advisors. While this is given to investors, it applies to marriage. Always continually reevaluate where you are, what your goals are, and reallocate resources accordingly. Unlike your traditional IRA where you get penalized if you do not start withdrawing the minimum amount required by the government at a certain age, there are no penalties if you stay in it for life.