Driver's Handbook - No Laughing Matter

My son is about to take the test for his driver's license permit. He was studying last night and started chuckling as he was reading the handbook. He commented that he could do a comedy act since there was so much material available.

One of our favorite sections was "Mistaken beliefs about seatbelts".
• “Seat belts can trap you inside a vehicle.” This myth often describes a vehicle that caught fire or sank in deep water. A seat belt may keep you from being “knocked out.” Pause. Therefore, your chances to escape are better if you are conscious.
• “Some people are thrown from a vehicle in a crash and walk away with hardly a scratch.” Your chances of surviving a collision are five times better if, upon impact, you are not thrown from the vehicle. You think????

As he continued to read a few things out loud, I am thinking that we are in serious trouble if current drivers did not know any of these listed below. Some things should be obvious but are not.
1. Do not squeeze a bicyclist off the road, and allow a safe clearance when passing a bicyclist. The illustration below drives home the point.

2. Never make a U-turn:
• Where a “No U-Turn” sign is posted.
• When other vehicles may hit you.
• On a one-way street.

3. Never park or leave your vehicle:
• Where a “No Parking” sign is posted.
• On a railroad track.
• On the wrong side of the street.

4. Special Parking Rules
• Never leave your vehicle until you have stopped the engine and set the parking brake.

There is a special section which my son took special pains to point out.
• Do not honk to alert other drivers that they made a mistake (because of course it is their right to get onto that carpool lane when there is no cop around). Your honking may cause them to make more mistakes or to become angry and retaliate. I normally get the finger.
• Do not honk because you may be angry or upset. It does not say anything about yelling.

Finally....the "Things you must not do" section.
Do not dump or abandon animals on a highway.
Do not wear a headset over, or earplugs in, both your ears.
Do not allow anyone to ride on any part of your vehicle not intended for passengers.
Do not tow anyone who is riding a bicycle, in a wagon, on roller skates, on a sled, on skis, or on a toy vehicle.

The author(s) of the handbook must either have a pretty low opinion of drivers or is an aspiring writer for Comedy Central.