Weeping Women and Men

I have found that as I have gotten older that I cry at the drop of a hat. Things that make me tear up include, but are not limited to:
• Military members deploying.
• Military families reuniting as their ship sails into port.
• Videos of children's evident joy as they are surprised with the return of their father/mother from deployment.
• Not seeing my active-duty only son for months as he goes through flight school.
• A good rendition of the National Anthem.
• A really good book or movie.
• Articles from my favorite magazine, "Reader's Digest."
• Weddings

Yes, I cry a lot. Women cry more often than men. We have more permission from society to do so. It is changing but there are still a lot of men who view crying as a weakness. I don't ever recall seeing my father cry. He often told us, his girls, to "man up" or that "it is far from the intestine" when we scraped our knees. His reaction to a house full of women was to make fun of the person crying so that they would get so annoyed at him and stop. I have to say it often worked.

I married a good man, someone who is supportive and steady as a rock; however, these past few months have tested his ability to deal with tears. Mine. When my mother died, he took it as natural that I would lose it right after the funeral and just hugged me tight until the tears subsided. I cried myself to sleep on many nights, and again, he would not say a word but just hold me in his arms. He made sure that there was a white handkerchief every Sunday when we went to church because that is where a lot of my tears fell. When I tear up in the car, he would take my hand and hold it or give me a soothing pat in the back. He knew better than to say platitudes like "I'm sure she is in a better place," unlike my unnamed brother-in-law whose head got bitten off.  He learned really quickly.

Fast forward to four months later. Like everything else, the pain and the tears subside but every now and then something brings it back. The most recent reaction I have received is "why are you crying?" which I take to mean as, "why are you still crying?" It annoys me and I promptly stop. I have since figured out that the question really just means:
Did I cause the crying? If yes, what did I do now? If the answer is no, go ahead and cry so you can get it out of your system without interrupting the basketball game I am watching. 

The other tactic when my eyes start to well up while we are watching the news is to act as if he has not seen the teardrop in the hope that he would not have to deal with it. After all, it is just the hormones raging and I will be fine after menopause. He is a smart man; he does not say that out loud.